Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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