that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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