They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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