You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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