Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
