It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
