Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
