Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize