this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
