Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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