You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
