Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Houston, we have a squirter
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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