Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
