If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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