So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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