My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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