If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
