He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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