Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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