that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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