wanna go halves on a baby?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
