What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
