someone get that fucking seahorse.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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