I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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