so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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