"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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