Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
