WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
