I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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