Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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