I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize