miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
