Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
