There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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