FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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