I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Alive.
So much puke
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
