As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
