Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
