Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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