Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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