I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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