Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
