there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
