MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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