how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
