Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize