I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm having to shit out rocks
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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