True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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