so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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