I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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