he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
