I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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