I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
