Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
