Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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