He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My bed smells like the plague
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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