If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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