am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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