Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
