Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Girls should come with a carfax report
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
