I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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